Thoughts on the Gospel

Jesus said to his disciples:

“This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.

No one has greater love than this,

to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

You are my friends if you do what I command you.

I no longer call you slaves,

because a slave does not know what his master is doing.

I have called you friends,

because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.

It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you

and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain,

so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.

This I command you: love one another.”

I had a lot of interesting things running through my head when I heard this reading today.

First the line "no greater love has a man then this, to lay down his life for a friend." When I heard that I thought instead of laying down my life, laying down my desire for religious life, my want to be understood and my strong desire for community. Mary has been speaking a lot to me about martyring my desire for religious life and letting Jesus kill it for a time so that I can focus on what He wants of me right now, namely to be in the world for a time so He can use me to reach souls. Instead of laying down my life, I need to lay down my hopes, wants, dreams and desires. Though the desire for religious life is a good thing in itself, it's not a good thing if it stops or hinders me from totally embracing His most holy and perfect will for me which is to wait.

Second the line "You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you."
Of course I related this to my vocation first, but then it struck me that it's not only that He chose me for His bride, but He also chose me to be in the world for a while. This is something that I've really struggled with in the past year, but I've come to learn that it's just as important to think about your current vocation as it is to think about the one in the future. It's a thin line to find between thinking about it way to much and not thinking about it enough. I can't tell you how to find that line for yourself but keep looking and trying your best and most importantly, don't beat yourself up if you don't keep to the line.

As usual, you are all in my prayers. God bless you!

JMJ+

Totus tuus Maria! Let's see what the good God wills.