My Ongoing Search for God's Will.

My God,
I want to let you have my whole life. I don't want to hold anything back any more.
I'm tired of always fighting you and hanging on to my life. I so badly want to let go and I know that if I do you will catch me but I'm scared. Lord I'm so scared to let go. I want to give everything to you. I feel so exhausted from fighting and I honestly don't want to be afraid because I know you are here but something inside me is still hanging on and I can't make it let go. I feel so weak and tired all the time and I don't want to feel like that any more. I hate feeling like this all the time yet I don't know how to not feel like this. I have felt like this for so long that I don't know how to be any different. Lord please help me change! I can't do this on my own, I need your help. Help me to trust more and more in you. I love you so much and I long to be able to truly say that I have given you everything but I can't do this alone. I need you my God!