Thirst

Thirst

I am thirsting for your love, why do you run away?

Do you not know that my love for you is perfect and everything you need?
When I formed you in the womb this is what I made you for, yet you continue to run because you are afraid.

I am thirsting for your love, why do you run?

It will be hard and there are many difficult things but my love is more powerful and yet more gentle then anything in the world.

I am thirsting for your love, why do you continue to run?

Do you not understand how much I love you, do you not see everything I am aching to give you? I wish to give you every good thing in the world.

Do you not see that I am thirsting for you, why do you still run?

I know you are afraid and yes you don't know what the future will bring, but there is no need to worry.

If you could only see how much I am thirsting for you, you would stop running.

Lord it's true I don't know where you will lead me but I'm not happy running and I want to trust you.

The truth is I am thirsting for your love and I don't want to run any more.

I can see now that you are the only thing that will make me happy, nothing else can fill me the way you do.

I am thirsting for your love and I'm not going to run any more.

I know that your love is perfect and there is no need to fear. You are the only thing that can satisfy my heart.

I am thirsting for your love and am running right into your arms!

What I'm Thinking About Right Now.

So retreat is in 11 days. I'm so ready for it I really can't wait! Life has been kind of crazy lately and it's starting to get me down. I'm just so ready for a break from it all. Yet at the same time I'm almost dreading it because it means I have to actually articulate what's in my heart to someone I've never met before and I'm really not good at that. It's so much easier for me to type or write what's on my heart then for me to actually say it face to face to someone. I guess the reason I'm posting this is just to get it out. I've been holding this in for way to long. Please keep me in your prayers.

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria!

New Blog

I am now a part of the Holy Vocations blog and so will not be posting here much any more.

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria!

My Vocation Story.

The Amazing Journey of How God Has Asked Me to Marry Him and Brought Me to the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist.
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From the time I was very young the thought that maybe I was going to be a nun was there.
This was due in part to the fact that five of my paternal great aunts were Sisters of Saint
Joseph in London, Ontario. My aunt and uncle have a cottage in Canada that they let us use for
family vacations and we would always spend a day in London at the motherhouse. While yes, it
was only seven days of my life, it made such a huge impact on me that whenever someone
asked me “What do you want to be when you grow up?” it was always “…or a nun”.
When I was twelve I was sitting on the couch making a bracelet and thinking and praying about my life. All of a sudden I knew that I was going to be one hundred percent God’s. I can’t say what happened, but I knew and have never doubted it since. The first year was very hard for me because I didn’t really understand what that meant. Instead of seeing everything I get
when I give myself to God I was focused on everything I had to give up. At my Confirmation Mass, about a year later, my eyes were opened to the amazing thing that being a sister really is and that’s when my romance with God really began. I still had no idea how I was going to live it out.
In August of 2007 I was pretty sure that God was calling me to one of three orders: the Servants of God’s Love, The Sisters of Life, or The Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist. In November I was looking more into the Servants of God’s Love and was very attracted to their work with orphans and I was thinking that maybe that’s where God was calling me. Then the fact that they don’t wear a traditional habit started bugging me. I kept telling myself, “Betsy, that’s ridiculous, what they wear doesn’t matter at all, the important thing is the work they do,” but I was having a really hard time with it. Eventually I got so fed up with myself I said, “Okay God, I’m going to go back to discerning between these three orders and if you want me with the Servants of God’s Love you are going to have to change my heart because I’m having a really hard time with this” and He said ,“Okay, I’ll let you know, but not yet.”
In late November I got a phone call from one of my friends asking if I wanted to go on the March for Life in Washington D.C. I said yes, and thought that maybe this would decide the Sisters of Life one way or the other. I went on the trip and had an amazing time of course, but when I got home I couldn’t figure out if something had happened or if I only felt like something happened because I wanted something to happen. I kept going back and forth and just couldn’t figure it out. At the end of February I went on retreat with my youth group and was talking to my small group leader about what was going on and she said to me, “ Betsy, if you believe that God is calling you to the Sisters of Life, then pursue it and if He isn’t He will let you know before your final vows.” I started pursuing it, but there wasn’t anything I could really do about it because they ask you to go to college before you join.. I was just waiting.
My mom and I came to the profession of first vows in August and I was very moved. When the Sisters were prostrate in front of the altar, I saw myself at some point in the future, in a white habit and black veil prostrate in front of the altar at Christ the King. I just brushed it aside though because I was going to have a blue scapular and cape and it was going to be in New York. When we came to the motherhouse, the first thing we did was go into the chapel and right .way I felt at home and at peace. One of the things that really stuck out to me was the joy and laughter of all of the sisters, even in the midst of hard work. What also struck me was the genuine beauty of all of you that has nothing to do with the outside.
On Friday, my first thought was “Maybe I’m not so sure about New York.” I told my mom this and she said “Yeah, I kind of thought that might happen.” Later in the day I was doing dishes and I asked God, “Okay, what happened yesterday? I thought you wanted me in New York?” He told me that the reason I thought He wanted me in New York was because He needed to know how much I am willing to give and if I was willing to wait. A few weeks prior to this I was in Adoration and had finally given Him everything and really meant it. He told me that because I had shown Him that I was ready to do anything for Him, He wasn’t asking me to go to New York and do theses hard things but He was asking me to go to Ann Arbor next year.

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria!