=*(

I have been a part of Lifeteen at my parish since I started eighth grade. In truth I started going to LT kicking and screaming because I did not want to go to LT where I knew nobody I wanted to go to youth group at a different church where all my siblings had gone and where I knew everybody. I was shy, uncomfortable around people that loud, didn't know anyone, and felt very awkward. But then one day that changed. I was sitting in a chair in the corner and Katie came and sat on the arm of the chair and started talking to me. In the course 0f the conversation she managed to fall from the arm of the chair into my lap. And the rest is history...
In June of 2007 I had the chance to go to the Youth Leadership Camp and it changed my life.
At DYLC I went to confession for the first time in three and a half years. I remember it so clearly. On Wednesday of camp the day was started with the stations of the cross. I don't remember anything about how the stations were done but I remember exactly what went through my heart. I was so convicted that I just started sobbing. It was quite probably the hardest I've ever cried in my life before or since. In the evening they had confessions and, only by the grace of God, I made myself go. It was the most intense confession and also the best confession of my life. I was the first person to go to confession and also the first person done so afterward I was alone in the chapel with the Blessed Sacrament. I was laying prostrate in front of the Tabernacle. When I sat up I looked at the Tabernacle and it hit me "Oh my gosh!! That's Jesus, I mean I've always known that that's Jesus but that's really Jesus...and He wants me to marry Him!?!?" Ever since then I've been continually falling in love with Him.
Coming home from Nov. retreat with the Sisters was probably one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do. I had spent the last two and a half months preparing to get my application papers in Nov. and then I had to come home and tell people that it didn't happen. What made it so much easier was that I came home and went right to LT. Everyone was so supportive of me and loved me so much even though I was really upset about everything. The same thing happened when I found out I wasn't accepted to NET. Honestly I can't imagine how I would have gotten through this year if it hadn't been for LT.
Not only has LT helped me get through my tough times but it has also given me a place to reach out to others and share about my faith and why it's so important to me. This has happened in many different ways. Whether it was being on a committee that put together the meetings for Sunday nights or helping out with spring retreats it's been a wonderful way for me to share and, I can only hope, set others on fire for Christ.
Which brings me to spring retreats. Honestly I'm not even sure what to say about spring retreats. My first spring retreat was in '08 and the topic was the Mass. The one thing that I remember from this retreat was talking to my small group leader Kelsey after one of the meals about my discernment and she gave me the best advice ever about any choice in life. She said to me "Betsy, if you really believe that God is calling you to this then pursue it! If He isn't then He will let you know before you take final vows and if He is then there you go" Even if I haven't always followed that advice I've never forgotten it.
In '09 the topic was All in the Family. I don't really remember much about this one.
This years spring retreat however I don't think I will ever forget.
My church has always planned and put on spring retreats with Saint James but this spring we invited Saint Martha's to plan with us as well. The theme was the trinity and we had the retreat broken up into four sections: Father, Son, Spirit and summery. My planing team was myself, Jim, Corey, Jen and Joe. I was very blessed to be able to get to know Jim better. I'm not even sure how to express what our friendship means. It's just to hard to put into words so I'll cease trying to do so.
The Saint Martha's group had planned Sunday morning and I just have one thing to say about it.
Spiritual cupcakes. End of story.
Ok not really I do have more to say about Sunday morning. It was on Sunday morning the Brian gave his witness talk. He spoke about his discernment to apply to seminary and how trying the past year had been. Even though our stories are completely different a lot of what he said resonated with what I've been through in the past year. After he was done speaking I went up to him and asked if we could talk after retreat was done and he said yes. When we were talking I really talked about what had happened in Nov. with the Sisters and in Feb. with NET. It was the first time I'd talked about it like that to anyone. That was the start of the wonderful amazing very blessed gift that God has given of our friendship.
There is so much more I could say about Lifeteen but honestly I'm getting stumped trying to put it into words so I guess I'll just be done with this post.

JMJ+
~Betsy

Totus tuus Maria! Let's see what the good God wills.